Drake of the 99 Dragons

"Drake of the 99 Dragons on steam? You must be out of this world to re-release this game! Is this one of the worst games I've had the displeasure of playing? yes, but it's not as awful as i was told, or at least the PC version is tolerable. It controls fine, jumping & running off walls like Mario was slightly useful in combat, but aiming was literally a hit or miss, as the camera will often have anurysums clipping into walls. the art-style attempts to replicate the style of cartoon network shows, which is really the only thing it succeeds at, unfortunately It's paired with barren level design. Most models look to have been made in 2 minutes, with awful textures/animations. The sounds often glitch out, and most guns sound like ♥♥♥♥, except your starting guns that sound crisp as hell, but most sound muffled and weak. The dialog is a disasterpiece, it makes no sense, but is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hilarious it must have been on purpose. Drake himself is a slack jaw imbicle, constantly killing himself with sheer incompetence, it's an unintended comedy as he fails time & time again. If you can get this game on sale, it might be worth a short playthrough, sometimes It's good to play bad games, s…

Alrighty. Um. Wow! So first up while the trailer seems relatively accurate to the contents of the game, the screenshots on the store page are mostly fabricated. So that's amazing right there. Great start! Drake of the 99 Dragons is apparently some sort of infamously bad game. Going in, my only real familiarity with this game was just seeing some brief gameplay on YouTube. I found myself drawn in by the shooting, because I was like hey, I've played some really bad first and third person shooters in my time, the shooting looks surprisingly decent. Maybe this game is worth checking out. And, after beating the game from start to finish, all 25 levels, I gotta say: the shooting is actually not the worst. There's some merits to this terrible game. And it is a terrible game. It's hard to breakdown just how bad this game is, and what kind of bad it is, because while at times the game does feel like some other more generic bargain bin shooters from the era, it also has some elements as mentioned that redeem it. This game is on the level of, but worse than, games like Judge Dredd: Dredd vs Death, if you ever played that one, released the same year by a pretty low end studio. Judge Dred…

I like that this stays true to the original by also making it a ♥♥♥♥♥ to run. I appreciate staying the course with ♥♥♥♥♥♥ garbage.

This game is terrible. Absolute, utter filth. But at the same time, it's one of those rare games that manages to be so bad that it's fun. I would hesitate to ascribe "Good" to any part of this game. But it's exceptionally difficult for a bad game to be more than "Clunky and Annoying", and so this game deserves its props. The voice acting is unintentionally hilarious and the game's irksome failstates quickly become really amusing when you take into consideration that Drake is canonically a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ moron.

I think this is a pretty bad game, BUT the port runs okay and I think this is a really weird unique thing worth preserving in some sense. I haven't run into any real issues completing levels so far outside of cheap shots and getting gunned down which feels more like RNG than active avoidance. the levels are all short and sweet with no checkpoint but I vaguely remember one of the criticisms AVGN levied against it being the final level being awful so I'm excited for that. I think other than the /everything else/ given how easy it is to die to absurd nonsense the literal timer on the death screen where you have to wait to restart is a little cruel. Some of the VA sounds professional level but they have very odd, stilted delivery. The Chinese Aesthetic feels like a superficial gimmick and the walls have hasty scrawling that looks more akin to Nordic cave carving than anything approaching Chinese calligraphy. The aesthetic I think they're going for is a cel shaded Bruce Timm superhero thing but it's juxtaposed with a jumpy gunny john woo thing and a story about ghosts and ancient artifacts. The main character is kind of built like a cartoonish superhero but he has a horrifying gh…

This is very promising Max Payne clone but made by LJN, a poor's man clone perhaps. Popularized by AVGN, this game has cool concept but the developer are idiots. What made Max Payne so good, is non existing in this. This is a huge pass. I hate it.