Bernie Needs Love

Bernie Needs Love

Protomni Multimedia · August 21, 2015 · Action, Adventure, Indie, Early Access, Casual

Buy Bernie Needs Love from Gameseal at $1.06 — the cheapest of 5 stores we compare.

PC
Mixed42% · 26
Best price 53 Good deal
$1.06-65%
lowest tracked $0.89
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Where to buy Bernie Needs Love — official stores

Steam
Steam
Standard Edition · Steam
$2.99
Buy
IndieGala Store
IndieGala Store
Standard Edition · Steam
$2.99
Buy

Cheapest Bernie Needs Love keys — keyshops

Keyshops are third-party marketplaces — keys are resold and can be region-locked or a different edition. Check the listing's region & edition before buying.

Gameseal
Standard Edition · Steam
$1.06
Buy
Eneba
Standard Edition · Steam
$1.23
Buy
CJS CD Keys
CJS CD Keys
Standard Edition · Steam
$2.33
Buy

Bernie Needs Love price by region

Bernie Needs Love costs £0.90 in the United Kingdom, €0.93 in Europe (EUR), $1.06 in the United States, $1.06 in Georgia (USD), CA$3.29 in Canada, NZ$3.59 in New Zealand, A$4.31 in Australia, zł5.65 in Poland and R$6.29 in Brazil right now.

Cheapest Bernie Needs Love offer in each region, in local currency
RegionBest priceOfficial storeKey shopStores
United Kingdom £0.90 −55% £1.99 £0.90 4
Europe (EUR) €0.93 −69% €2.99 €0.93 5
United Statesyour region $1.06 −65% $2.99 $1.06 5
Georgia (USD) $1.06 −47% $1.99 $1.06 5
Canada CA$3.29 CA$3.29 — 2
New Zealand NZ$3.59 NZ$3.59 — 2
Australia A$4.31 A$4.31 — 1
Poland zł5.65 −57% zł13.12 zł5.65 2
Brazil R$6.29 R$6.29 — 2

Each row is a real price from that region's own stores, not a currency conversion, so the figures are not directly comparable. Switch regions in the header to shop the one you buy in.

About Bernie Needs Love

✦ AI summary

Bernie Needs Love is a challenging platformer where you guide an elderly man through a decaying city toward his girlfriend while dodging hazards and collecting love-enhancing pills. It stands out with its authentic lo-fi 8-bit aesthetic, chiptune soundtrack, and surprisingly thoughtful take on mortality and human connection wrapped in hardcore difficulty and instant respawns.

Bernie Needs Love is, in essence, a simple and lighthearted platformer in which the player must guide Bernie, a nice but anguished old man chased by death, towards his girlfriend — while avoiding the many hazards of a poorly maintained yet beautiful city and collecting blue 'love-enhancing' pills to make it an extra-special night!

A humorous portrait of social and existential issues in a media where death and sexuality are usually quite one-dimensional, Bernie Needs Love also stands out from the crowd with its charming lo-fi graphics, lovingly composed chiptune music, and hardcore difficulty level — which are sure to satisfy players who grew up in the 8-bit era.

Aesthetically, Bernie Needs Love is indeed a loveletter to the games of the 80s and early 90s, but also an experiment on getting the most out of a self-imposed set of limitations: the palette is a mix of CPC, C64, and NES colors with a few odd ones to highlight certain elements, while the original chiptune soundtrack is entirely created with synthesizers that faithfully emulate the hardware of iconic 8-bit and 16-bit machines.

Regardless of its nostalgic appeal, Bernie Needs Love is an up-to-date game from the depicted subjects (i.e. the anguish of life in the constant shadow of imminent death, one's need for love and sex, the pharmaceutical industry, etc.) to the modern conveniences it provides, such as automatic support for the Xbox 360 controller, quick and easy switching between the windowed and fullscreen modes, audio options (toggle-enabled and independent controls for Music and SFX), and saving the player progress. Even the hair-pulling difficulty is balanced with infinite lives, immediate restart upon death, and no loading whatsoever after the first loading screen upon start (which shouldn't take more then 3 seconds, by the way).

The game is already available, but will remain in beta while stages and features are added. Once we reach the 30 planned stages (we're currently working on stages 11 to 20), the beta phase and the correspondent discounted price will be over. Development is expected to be complete in Q4 2016.

The 30 stages are divided as follows:
  • Stages 01 to 10 -> Downtown (Implemented)
  • Stages 11 to 20 -> Carnival (WIP)
  • Stages 21 to 30 -> Beach (WIP)

Each area is subdivided in two to three subareas. For example, here is the subdivision of the first ten levels:
  • Stages 01 to 07 -> The Park
  • Stages 08 and 09 -> Downtown (aka Red Light District)
  • Stage 10 -> Cemetery and Boss Fight

The second area, focused on the Carnival festivities of Bernie's city, starts with a street parade and will later take our protagonist to the arena where samba schools exhibit their humongous thematic cars to thousands of viewers. The first section of that carnival-themed area, however, takes place in a well-off residential area that introduces dystopian tones to Bernie's adventure that could very well be deemed cyberpunk — not necessarily moreso than our present times, but still: aerial and terrestrial drones, crowd-control forces, informational holograms, and genetically modified peacocks are just examples of such elements and a new dimension to the plot of the game.

Finally, another subarea will be added for the second boss battle — but we're still deciding on the exact environment. The same model will be applied to the 3rd and last area, 'The Beach': from a sunny morning to the new year's eve celebration, levels 3-1 to 3-10 will span across such settings and finish with one last mano-a-mano with the reaper.

Bernie Needs Love — game info

Platforms
Windows, Linux / SteamOS
Player modes
Single-player
Controller
Full controller support
PC Game Pass
Not included

What Steam players say

Recent verbatim reviews from Steam — separate from playze.io community reviews below.

Recommended Jun 26, 2019
A platformer that essentially plays like the recent popular genre of infinite runners since you got the grim reaper at your back and you need to time your jumps and movement near optimally to pick all the collectibles (pills) while reaching the end of the stage to your lady friend before your ticker gives out. Fans of that genre and old school microcomputer visuals (a la C64) should enjoy this romp but the lack of any chievos might put them off.
15 found this helpful
Not recommended Sep 10, 2017
Looks like it came out in 1985 for the C64. Fair enough if you like retro style graphics, but the game is pretty horrible. Run to the right, jump to avoid stuff while collecting pills. Boring, overly difficult and most of all, not a lot of fun.
5 found this helpful
Not recommended Jan 12, 2026
Gameplay is horrible, level design is bad and, most importantly, it's just not remotely fun.
1 found this helpful
Not recommended Dec 9, 2022
2/10
Not recommended Sep 21, 2022
This game is dead, abandoned. Ehhh. Doesn't have a lot to offer. Map design isn't too bad, but the music gets repetitive and the loop gets a little boring since after awhile it feels really slow. I don't remember how I got this game, but if I actually spent money on it I regret it.
Not recommended Jul 24, 2017
Tags: Platformer Additional Tags: Delete Local Content & Remove from Library TLDR: Eternal Early Access. Low quality 2D platformer with floaty controls and overall lack of refinement. Humorous tone falls flat. You play as an old person collecting pills as coins and escaping death trying to reach a girl at the end to finish a level. Works conceptually for me but the whole thing feels and looks second rate. Removed for declutter

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