

Me Smart Orc
Bill Ricardi · 2018 · RPG, Indie, Adventure, Violent, Text-Based
PC
Positive93% · 14
This game is free to play. Get it on Steam →
About Me Smart Orc
Me Smart Orc is a short Choose Your Own Adventure (CYOA) text game, set in the world of Panos. It is totally free, so complaints about length will be filed under the 'innuendo' section. But the game is deceptively re-playable. Options, text, and combat results are influenced by the intelligence of the orc that your character is shepherding around! And your decisions, even the seemingly harmless ones, just might change the ending. So in may take a couple of hours (or more) to get all of the results.
You are Lizzy, the flying lizard. You live in the swampy orc village of Jeywafa; specifically in a small, leaky tent that smells like old socks. You normally laze about all day soaking up the sun, and occasionally serve as an animal companion for your master and best buddy, Shaman.
Shaman is not only the tribe's healer, but he also trains the 'smart orcs'. Which means he's in charge of the apprentice mages who have to feed the tribe's Voodoo Engine by casting spells nearby. The chief thinks that these novice mages are only being taught 'Enhance Intelligence' to stave off the curse that makes all orc mages dumber when they cast spells. But Shaman has started a secret school, with the intention of making these orcs much smarter than they should be, so they can use all kinds of cool spells!
Normally, none of this would be your problem. But today, Shaman is going off on a trading mission, and he's leaving YOU in charge of Dunwart. Dunwart is the most promising apprentice of the Jeywafa tribe since that fool Sorch ran away to become an adventurer. Somehow the fate of all of Panos is wrapped up in this stupid task, you're SURE of it. Otherwise, why would Shaman send someone so important to get the job done?
Me Smart orc is 100 percent free, with no DLC. If you enjoy the setting and you'd like to reward the author, consider picking up the Bill Ricardi's books: 'Another Stupid Spell', 'Another Stupid Demon', and 'Another Stupid Apocalypse'. Warning: These books contain themes of fantasy violence, abuse, stupidity, androgynous were-cat love, greed, goody-goody minotaurs, bisexuality, foolhardy adventure, demonic armies, and rocks. If any of the above would offend you grievously, stick to the gamebook.
Special thanks to Ian Lee and Tim Vecchiarelli for playtesting, and Ash Stone for tweaking and packaging the code.
You are Lizzy, the flying lizard. You live in the swampy orc village of Jeywafa; specifically in a small, leaky tent that smells like old socks. You normally laze about all day soaking up the sun, and occasionally serve as an animal companion for your master and best buddy, Shaman.
Shaman is not only the tribe's healer, but he also trains the 'smart orcs'. Which means he's in charge of the apprentice mages who have to feed the tribe's Voodoo Engine by casting spells nearby. The chief thinks that these novice mages are only being taught 'Enhance Intelligence' to stave off the curse that makes all orc mages dumber when they cast spells. But Shaman has started a secret school, with the intention of making these orcs much smarter than they should be, so they can use all kinds of cool spells!
Normally, none of this would be your problem. But today, Shaman is going off on a trading mission, and he's leaving YOU in charge of Dunwart. Dunwart is the most promising apprentice of the Jeywafa tribe since that fool Sorch ran away to become an adventurer. Somehow the fate of all of Panos is wrapped up in this stupid task, you're SURE of it. Otherwise, why would Shaman send someone so important to get the job done?
Me Smart orc is 100 percent free, with no DLC. If you enjoy the setting and you'd like to reward the author, consider picking up the Bill Ricardi's books: 'Another Stupid Spell', 'Another Stupid Demon', and 'Another Stupid Apocalypse'. Warning: These books contain themes of fantasy violence, abuse, stupidity, androgynous were-cat love, greed, goody-goody minotaurs, bisexuality, foolhardy adventure, demonic armies, and rocks. If any of the above would offend you grievously, stick to the gamebook.
Special thanks to Ian Lee and Tim Vecchiarelli for playtesting, and Ash Stone for tweaking and packaging the code.
What Steam players say
Recent verbatim reviews from Steam — separate from playze.io community reviews below.
Me Smart Orc is not a game, it's an e-book/Choose Your Own Adventure ("Visual novel" is another term that writers use when trying to disguise an e-book as a game) that's been launched on Steam as a game, despite not being one. As a visual/interactive novel, this doesn't feature any notable gameplay, it's just a lot of clicking through badly written dialogue that would never have been accepted or published in print, which presents the question, "How did something this badly written end up on Steam?". When someone hoping to become an author is unable to get published in print, they spend $100 and dump their high school fan-fiction onto Steam, under the guise of a game. While there is a dynamic element to the game, this is shallower than a Fighting Fantasy novel from those Games Workshop guys. The game is presented very poorly, using the MIT Quest engine, but seriously, this just looks like Web 1.0 HTML. So why isn't it just in a web browser? At least then the "author" might get paid for an ad impression once in a while. While this is free, it's bad, and badly written (let's face it, if they could write professionally, they'd be published authors, and not paying $100 to self-p…3 found this helpful
I found this to be charming and fun. If you like dragons and CYOA then this is one you'll like.3 found this helpful
An interesting little short story CYOA set in the game maker's own fantasy Universe (in which they've written a few books on Kindle/Amazon). The deaths and game overs are a little sudden and arbitrary ("Who do you fight, the skeleton or the zombie?" has one correct answer and one game over, for instance) but it's designed to be started over and re-ran quickly. You can create a save game from the menu system, but it's literally going to make a .sav file in your My Documents folder for you to load, the engine itself is basically just a HTML browser [text, hyperlinks to next passage, some pictures]. It's using the public domain "Quest" engine available online at textadventures.co.uk which I found interesting - I'd researched this one in the past while reading up on CYOA and Interactive Fiction but never seen anything implemented in it. That was actually what lead me to try this. There's a few clever variables and mechanics working behind the scenes as well [a NPC you need to protect will go through different states which will affect the gameplay/puzzles/game overs] and I was pleasantly surprised to find earlier decisions were called back to in the ending. Worth a look if you're i…1 found this helpful
Very short Choose Your Own Adventure. Don't expect much from this, it's a very short read that should take you less than half an hour to complete. But maybe if you try it again you'll find a different adventure...? To be honest, if this game had been $1.00 I probably would've felt ripped off. But it was free, and it gives you a taste of maybe what do have expected from his other books. Just don't expect to encounter a compelling story, or characters, or dialogue, or gameplay. It's just a short time waster.1 found this helpful
Игра 'Me Smart Orc' - это забавная и захватывающая головоломка, где вы управляете орком, стремящимся доказать свою сообразительность. Механика проста: орк толкает блоки, активирует механизмы и ищет путь к финишу на каждом уровне. Однако, простота обманчива! Головоломки становятся все сложнее, требуя логического мышления и планирования. Мне понравилось, что уровни короткие, но продуманные, что делает игру идеальной для быстрых сессий. Визуальный стиль простой, но очаровательный, а орк с его забавными фразами вызывает улыбку. Интерфейс интуитивно понятен, а управление отзывчивое. Хотя игра в основном сосредоточена на головоломках, я оценил бы наличие некоторых дополнительных challenges или секретов, чтобы расширить возможности для повторного прохождения. В целом, 'Me Smart Orc' - это отличная игра для любителей головоломок, предлагающая часы интеллектуальных развлечений. Советую всем, кто хочет пошевелить мозгами!
This is a well-written and engaging choose your own adventure book, and for me at least, it made me interested in the author's other work in the world of Panos. Pay no mind to the negative review by "Obey the Fist". That guy is trying to make a name for himself by being as negative as possible. Thousands and thousands of negative reviews and the only positive one I could find from him was for War Thunder. He claims that Visual Novels and CYOA novels "aren't games". Sure they are. There's input from the player, and victory and defeat conditions.
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