The Real Texas
Kitty Lambda Games Inc. · 2016 · Indie, Adventure, RPG, Action
PC
Positive94% · 35
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About The Real Texas
OUT NOW - The Real Texas - Part 2, Part 1 - Cellpop Goes Out At Night
Texas is launching on Steam with an all-new mini-sequel, Cellpop Goes Out At Night. The sequel is included in the Dusty Skies Edition. Buy them together and save 10%!
OVERVIEW
"These days, folks have a lot of funny ideas about what makes a Real Cowboy..."
The Real Texas is an action adventure game that plays like a mashup of Zelda: Link to the Past and Ultima VI.
Sam, an ordinary Texas rancher, is on holiday in England when he steps through a blue portal and into a purgatory dimension, Strange:
Here, a friendly witch is handing out guns to visitors. A crazed, German-speaking wizard hurls elecbolts from his castle. And upriver, something's going on that involves a lot of chickens.
Stuck in the middle sits Sam, a Real Cowboy.
... But that's just his job title back home-- it's not obvious that it's of any practical help here!
USER REVIEWS
The game has been out for awhile-- here's some reviews from other sites:
- "This thing is like some bizarre voxel dream, with its square, swaggerin' cowboys and its castles and insane German wizard-scientists and talking rats . . . It's fun and beautiful and a little bit rough on purpose, and I suppose I'll never forget it." - Abram03
- "i will never forget this surreal nostalgic ride. i haven't had such a rewarding experience in a long time." - countersweet
- "This game is incredible and I cannot recommend it enough to everyone." - Microwave
FEATURES
- Kill things with six types of classic cowboy and fantasy weapons
- Rummage through peoples' houses without fear of retribution while they go about their daily business
- Help people out with their PROBLEMS (*rolls eyes*) often by shooting your gun many, many times-- just like real life!
- Many special items and powerups, optional areas, and two types of chicken cutlets to collect
- Wear a bullet-proof vest underneath a sequined evening-gown if you want
- Supports all main game/life perlis including boss battles, enemies, traps, the estate tax
IMPROVEMENTS AND OTHER NOTES
For the Steam release I added achievements, improved the framerate, added more compatibility options, remastered the sound effects and optimized things generally.
Even without the mini-sequel it's a lot improved over the original release. But I was careful to NOT ret-conn the original game. People seemed to really like it, so I wanted to respect that by not changing it up in any way.
To complete The Real Texas takes maybe about 10 hours, depending on what you want to do. Cellpop Goes Out At Night might take about 1-2 hours. Both the main game and the sequel have lots of secrets and weird things to uncover. In fact, there are some things that still haven't been figured out (to my knowledge) in four years... So I made it an achievement. Ha-ha! Good luck. :)
I've put a lot of love into both of these games, and I hope you will find them special and enjoyable. Thanks!
DLC & expansions
🎁 Complete the collection
Base game + 1 of 1 DLC at today's best prices.
$12.39
to own everything
What Steam players say
Recent verbatim reviews from Steam — separate from playze.io community reviews below.
✦ AI summary
Players praise this wildly unconventional action RPG for its bold, self-assured creativity, witty dialogue, and genuinely strange yet memorable characters that set it apart from anything else available. The game's idiosyncratic mechanics and philosophical depth divide opinion, but those who embrace its surreal, humorous take on adventure games find it rewarding and unlike anything else. Some note it's text-heavy and requires a willingness to engage with deliberately weird design, making it more appealing to players seeking genuinely different experiences than mainstream alternatives.
This is a humble yet [i]epic[/i] adventure in a realm of deep strangeness, a psychoactive Tir na Nog set up by the god of greed . . . which land is [i]also[/i] a weirdly wonky dreamscape shared quite naturally between Zelda and Ultima, with adits reaching into the underside of every point ‘n’ click there ever was. [i]This[/i] is the story of one desk-bound cowboy’s transdimensional catapulting into the pocket universe called Texas. You control the six-sided Swaggerer without a Name on his vacation to a castle in England -- where he discovers a portal to a separate reality populated by farmers, bankers, a catapult mechanic, an up-and-coming rapper, Charles Dickens the frozen chicken magnate, a sentient compost pile worshiped by a talking rat (I recognize those Far Side matron glasses, Mr. French!) . . . and a German alchemist whose failed escape attempts have caused, rather, various people from various times to be sucked into the same shifting pocket of unreality as himself. Your cowboy can examine or carry around just about any small item in Ultima-like fashion, while the combat is a real-time Zelda-esque deal, but with [i]exclusively[/i] projectile weapons -- using right-click …7 found this helpful
(Played a long time ago off steam) Never understood why this game didn't become a cult classic. It is not traditionally attractive, but you won't find a more self-assured game than this one.5 found this helpful
Fun adventure. I'd rather play this than go back to Actual Texas.
The Real Texas is a beautiful, hilarious, and utterly confounding action RPG that whisks any cowboy brave enough to trust its idiosyncratic mechanics from the English countryside to an Americana deeper than purgatory & back in a whirlwind of witty dialog, bizarre yet disturbingly relatable characters, and philosophical undertones so deep beneath the tone that you're changing in ways that you cannot fathom, ways you can never come back from, ways that subtly redefine the parameters of conscious reality in a universe as chaotic and unbearable as it is gentle and loving and strange, strange, strange. If that's your kind of thing. We all have our own idea of what reality is, cowboy.
Remember to search under the bed, even if you need to type it in! Also it works great on the Deck
Great game, very different. Nothing else like it out there. Author has a lot of other great games that aren't on Steam, such as Paradise Perfect, a boat rescue game.
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