Spanking Runners

Oh God, at last!!! For so many years I have suffered so much every time I have tried to find this game and get it installed and get everything to work! And here - everything works, everything plays, everything is perfect, just brilliant! THANK YOU!

After the body-horror post-apocalypse of Elite-like Vangery and before the RTS sterile esotericism of Perimeter, there was supposed to be another entry into the portfolio of the developer. A turn-based racing game, also set in the univang. That game was never made, and all of the pre-production work was retooled into this cartoon childish comedy carting game. There’s the turn-based racing mode in it, and it does somehow take place in the univang. After the long intro of a VO talking over static pictures, you are dropped right into the hub world where you pick one of the characters with their minor stats differences. You ride towards the first available race and you are offered a choice between the turn-based mode and the real-time mode. So the turn based mode doesn’t work. First of all it’s not turn-based, it’s simultaneous turns with pause. The AI treats it like a real-time race and the turns do not influence its behaviour at all. So by picking the turn-based mode you just lose no matter what. The stupid mechanics do not compute. You draw the trajectory, unpause and an AI tries to follow your plan. The longer the distance between the planned nodes the faster your AI is supposed…

Sometimes I see a game so bizarre I have to get it and [i]Spanking Runners[/i] is one of the more interesting impulse purchases I've made. I've beaten the entire game and I still don't know what a [i]Spanking Runner[/i] is. At first glance it kind of looks like a Eurojank version of [i]Sonic R[/i] which it kind of is, but the actual game is even weirder than that. After a [i]very[/i] long ([i]at least[/i] 10 minutes) opening cutscene that lays out the entire [i]Spanking Runners[/i] lore (which boils down to "robots invaded because they want the planet's water), you're dropped into a hub world where you can feel out the controls and pick a race track. The game's technical aspects make a surprisingly good first impression, the hub and all of the race tracks take place on [i]Super Mario Galaxy[/i] style spherical planets which is a pretty insane feat for a game that came out in 2001. The physics also do an unexpectedly deft job at handling this unique quirk, and visually there's some impressive reflections going on. The characters have a Klasky Csupo look, like they could be extras on [i]Aaah! Real Monsters![/i] and the facial animations are surprisingly expressive and fluid, especia…

i havend fount a way to segs or spank the runners. Moonshiners?

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Gameplay isn't that good but just look at the game.