The Procession to Calvary
Joe Richardson · April 9, 2020 · Dark Comedy, Medieval, Funny, Point & Click, Surreal
Buy The Procession to Calvary from Gameseal at $0.30 — the cheapest of 27 stores we compare.
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Cheapest The Procession to Calvary keys — keyshops
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The Procession to Calvary price by region
The Procession to Calvary costs £0.21 in the United Kingdom, €0.24 in Europe (EUR), $0.30 in the United States, zł1.33 in Poland, R$2.71 in Brazil, $2.99 in Georgia (USD), CA$3.89 in Canada, A$4.49 in Australia and NZ$4.59 in New Zealand right now.
| Region | Best price | Official store | Key shop | Stores |
|---|---|---|---|---|
 United Kingdom | £0.21 −91% | £2.39 | £0.21 | 24 |
 Europe (EUR) | €0.24 −92% | €2.85 | €0.24 | 27 |
 United Statesyour region | $0.30 −90% | $2.99 | $0.30 | 27 |
 Poland | zł1.33 −85% | zł8.99 | zł1.33 | 20 |
 Brazil | R$2.71 −70% | R$8.99 | R$2.71 | 17 |
 Georgia (USD) | $2.99 −70% | $2.99 | $8.99 | 20 |
 Canada | CA$3.89 −70% | CA$3.89 | CA$11.69 | 21 |
 Australia | A$4.49 −70% | A$4.49 | A$12.92 | 20 |
 New Zealand | NZ$4.59 −70% | NZ$4.59 | NZ$13.49 | 18 |
Each row is a real price from that region's own stores, not a currency conversion, so the figures are not directly comparable. Switch regions in the header to shop the one you buy in.
Screenshots
About The Procession to Calvary
Hunt down the tyrant Heavenly Peter across a surreal Renaissance landscape made from classical paintings in this point-and-click adventure where you can solve puzzles the intended way or just murder everyone and skip ahead. It's a darkly comedic tale that blends Monty Python-style absurdist humor with gorgeous classical artwork and a soundtrack of masterworks by Bach and Vivaldi.
Story
Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered! But it's not all good news; the tyrant Heavenly Peter has escaped your clutches, and you have been tasked with the mission of finding him... Your journey will take you through a richly detailed landscape built from hundreds of different Renaissance paintings. You will steal a ship, feed a donkey, compete in a talent contest, assist an inept street magician, sing, dance, play the (magic?) flute, poke a man's face, hunt for treasure and have a chat with Our Lord God Almighty... But will you find Heavenly Peter? And if you do, how will you take your revenge!?Features
- Pointing and Clicking – A traditional point and click interface, with a 'verb coin' interaction menu and a simple inventory from which you can drag and drop your preciously hoarded items.
- Renaissance Artwork – Paintings by Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo and many more are brought together into one consistent world, in a way that is also as sympathetic as possible to the original works.
- Classical Music – a soundtrack selected to fit with the style of the artwork. Music from classical composers such as Vivaldi, Bach and George Frideric Handel will accompany you on your journey.
- Standalone Story – The Procession to Calvary is set in the same world as Four Last Things, but its story can be played independently.
- Optional Murder – You will be equipped with a sword. This will become useful in a number of different situations, but you will be strongly discouraged from using it on people. Ignoring this advice – and murdering anyone who stands in your way – will serve as a useful method of skipping any puzzles you don't like. But be warned; your actions might come back to haunt you...
- Nonsense – A style of humour reminiscent of the surreal, anarchic comedy of Monty Python. Lofty subject matter is treated with refreshing flippancy. Gags about butts are taken very seriously. But rest assured, while some of the jokes may be ridiculous, the puzzles make perfect sense! (or at least adhere to a consistent internal logic)
- Moments of Surprising Profundity – Actually, no... Don't read too much into it.
The Procession to Calvary — game info
- Platforms
- Windows, macOS, Linux / SteamOS
- Steam Deck
- Verified
- Player modes
- Single-player
- Controller
- Full controller support
- PC Game Pass
- Not included
What Steam players say
Recent verbatim reviews from Steam — separate from playze.io community reviews below.
It's probably three repeating jokes, but I LOVE the confidence of their delivery!2 found this helpful
I'm glad a lot of people liked it but it wasn't for me. The puzzles were so convoluted I had to use a guide for most of it. They didn't make logical sense to me. There were funny parts, and the art direction was nice, but at the end of the game I felt more pissed that I wasted my time trying to get to the ending than I did satisfied that I finished it. And I got the 3 different endings. I would recommend this to someone who the comedy outweighs the gameplay, but if you are expecting the game to make any sense I'd say don't bother.1 found this helpful
有中文，这游戏是绝杀
[u][b]Progress:[/b][/u] 3/3 endings, 16/21 achievements; What an intensely interesting experience. The use of the art is obviously the heavy lifter, but the humor is decent and art buffs will get a LOT of the inside jokes running around. I can also say I very much enjoyed the puzzles in the game, with only 1 or 2 spots I really got stuck on. Why the heck didn't I know about this sooner? When did this release? Oh.
Köstliche Bereicherung des Gemütes!!
tickled my fancy will be playing other games by this developer
Community reviews
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