Saving Simon

I was born into a family of non-yeeters. Every morning before I went to school my father would say, "if I ever find out that you've hit that yeet, I'll thump ya." "Yes, pa," I would always reply. It was a regular occurrence for him to burst into my room unannounced while I was relaxing or doing homework. "Y'all hitting that yeet?" he would seeth. "No, pa," I would answer. "Good." He would then walk out the room and shout, "If I ever catch ya, it's a thumpin'." It was a difficult upbringing. I had seen my friends hittin' that yeet at school, and many of them encouraged me to partake. I would swallow my pride. "No thanks. I don't wanna catch a thumpin' from pa." As a result, I was an outcast. A loner. I became depressed, knowing that I would never be like my peers, I would never fit in - I would never hit that yeet. One day, when I was still but a wee lad, I became curious. I was in my room, watching Instagram videos of fellas my age hittin' that yeet all over town without a care in the world. My intentions got the better of me. I stood up, my knees trembling. Carefully, I leaned onto my right foot and raised my hand in the air. I breathed in. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" My father…

I gave all the negative reviews clown emojis

Suicide simulator 2/10

RPG Maker strikes again! Saving Simon is one of hundreds of low effort retro-pixel RPG Maker asset/construction kit flips spamming the Steam catalog, made with the RPG Maker video game construction kit... in their own words, "Our easy to use tools are simple enough for a child". Like all RPG Maker "games", this is essentially a bunch of low quality/canned assets from RPG Maker coupled with a cringeworthy high school anime club fan fiction. As with all RPG Maker games, the poor quality engine displays badly in fullscreen and doesn't have full HD support or any graphics tweaking options, making this unacceptable for any dedicated modern PC gamer. The point can be made that the intention of RPG Maker is to make demos and small games to pass around friends, and shouldn't be used for "professional" game development. Notably the developer here couldn't work out how to use RPG Maker to make an RPG... and that's the only thing RPG Maker can do properly... except it's not even very good for making RPGs. Instead, we have an e-book/Choose Your Own Adventure that's been dumped on Steam masquerading as a game. As a visual/interactive novel, this doesn't feature any notable gameplay, it…

A choose your own adventure where the primary storyline is trying to stop the protagonist from committing suicide. This isnt' a game. I hope the developer is doing alright.

Saving Simon has a complex and compelling narrative. Its profundity is something that has truly changed my outlook on the universe. How this quaint little game manages to say this much about society is truly a testament to the genius of the developer. This is masterpiece that rivals classics such as Shakespeare's Macbeth and Salinger's The Catcher In The Rye. If you have not given this game a try yet, I cannot recommend it enough. It is worth far more than its price tag. This game has truly changed the world in a way nothing else ever has.