

Flat Earths!
Ponywolf · 2020 · Action, Indie, Casual, 4 Player Local, Arcade
PC
Positive85% · 13
This game is free to play. Get it on Steam →
Screenshots
About Flat Earths!
Are you one of those ROUND-EARTHERS? Do you think the sun isn't hung from a bale of twine cast down from the star-heavens? Well then, don't bother trying this couch-multiplaying, trident-hurling, death-o-gasm of an aquatic mammal simulation.
.
JUST DON'T BOTHER!
IT'S NOT FOR YOU. Go back to your schooools and your interwebs, sheeple.
Still here? Then you're in the club. We meet every Thursday under the wilted elm behind the ghost of the old Windsor Castle in Boise Idaho. Bring torches, skepticism, and a preparedness for mind destroying truth. Also BYOB.
STAY WOKE!
As for features, it's more like, what's NOT in this game! Am I right!?
.
.JUST DON'T BOTHER!
IT'S NOT FOR YOU. Go back to your schooools and your interwebs, sheeple.
Still here? Then you're in the club. We meet every Thursday under the wilted elm behind the ghost of the old Windsor Castle in Boise Idaho. Bring torches, skepticism, and a preparedness for mind destroying truth. Also BYOB.
STAY WOKE!
As for features, it's more like, what's NOT in this game! Am I right!?
- 1-4 Players local death-match insanity with AI opponents to fill out the roster
- Multiple movement, scoring, and collision modes which can be randomized to increase the insanity
- Multiple rendering modes which can be stacked to further increase the insanity
- Toggleable 'goodies' to increase things like player speed, opponents' size, and general insanity
- A general thumb in the eye of science and rational thought
.What Steam players say
Recent verbatim reviews from Steam — separate from playze.io community reviews below.
⠀6 found this helpful
Flat Earths! is a Unity based "couch brawler", aka PvP only, local multiplayer only retro pixel platform brawler. Like Joust, or Smash Bros, only not as good. The game features a minimalist/MS Paint tier "art" style as a substitute for modern PC graphics, so the visuals are extremely poor and look phoned in. There's no online multiplayer, either. I had a look at my gaming rig to make sure, and it's definitely not a console peasant gaming appliance, so it seems this game is on a platform where the target audience isn't. You can do botmatching, but the game doesn't feature any actual content. Developers must learn that PvP, other players, are not an acceptable subsitute for doing the job of game developers and adding story, level design, plot, and meaningful single player interaction to games. The game is completely free. Nothing speaks more to a developers belief in themselves and their product than making their game available for everyone without remuneration. This is certainly a gesture that shows dedication to the gaming industry. It's a shame in this case that the implementation is below the minimum standards a dedicated PC game should offer to enthusiasts. There…4 found this helpful
My friends and I played this game so much over the weekend and we had a great time! The colors and artwork are cute. The game play is lots of fun!4 found this helpful
OK so this is a clone of 1982's Joust general gameplay; several mechanics are different. There's basic single-player against bots, but it's aimed at couch co-op (i.e. not my demographic). The art style looks great. Better than Astro Joust. https://youtu.be/BWoiLNri0OM https://store.steampowered.com/app/762670/Astro_Joust/3 found this helpful
I made this to play it with friends. We have fun playing it. Perhaps you'll have fun playing it. FYI this review is as biased as they get.1 found this helpful
Игра 'Flat Earths!' - это уморительное и захватывающее противостояние, где вы строите и защищаете свою плоскую Землю от нападок ученых и скептиков. Юмор здесь на высоте, абсурдные ситуации встречаются на каждом шагу, а абсурдные теории "плоскоземельцев" реализованы во всей красе. Геймплей прост и понятен: строим укрепления из подручных материалов (фольга, картон, надувные шары), размещаем оборонительные башни, основанные на "научных" принципах плоской Земли, и отбиваем волны наступающих "глобусистов". Разнообразие башен и врагов радует, каждая волна - это новый вызов. Однако, иногда игра кажется немного однообразной. После нескольких уровней механика становится предсказуемой, и не хватает новых элементов, чтобы поддерживать интерес. Но в целом, 'Flat Earths!' - отличная игра для тех, кто хочет расслабиться, посмеяться и немного поразвлечься с абсурдной концепцией нашей планеты. Рекомендую, особенно если вам нравится юмор в духе Monty Python.
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