Dr. Fizzgigious' Fantabulous Carbon Dating Simulacrum

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Almost as good as spending a dollar on an actual carbonated beverage. Almost.

Dr. Fizzgigious' Fantabulous Carbon Dating Simulacrum is a compact comedy game that takes the idea of carbon dating in a wonderfully literal and absurd direction. Developed and published by Tanukitsune, it combines historical trivia, visual novel presentation, and dating simulator mechanics into an experience that is intentionally strange from beginning to end. Instead of pursuing ordinary romantic partners, players encounter anthropomorphized historical relics and attempt to impress them with archaeological knowledge. It is a deliberately niche premise, but that unusual concept gives the game an identity that is difficult to confuse with anything else. The story follows Dr. Fizzgigious, an archaeologist whose enthusiasm for historical artifacts is matched by an unusual fascination with carbonated beverages. An experiment involving his interests leads to relics becoming living characters, creating the foundation for the game's eccentric dating scenario. From there, historical knowledge effectively becomes a form of courtship. The premise never tries to become realistic or dramatic, instead leaning completely into wordplay, nonsense, and archaeological humor. There are plenty of de…

10/10 would flirt with a kettle again