17 MPH

Please for the love of god do not play this game, there is help out there, you do not need to subject yourself to the whims of this flimsy ass physics engine and the sadism of it's developer. Games like Dark Souls and Getting Over It are made to challenge you, but encourage you to finish them at your pace. Games like this decide that its funnier to just say "haha sike I'm going to throw you over here randomly" or "hey you hit a random physics object, guess youre stuck here", or sometimes just make you fight the camera for control, both as a intended effect, and just whenever you happen to be on a weird slope. It's as if the developer thinks thats the equivalent value of giving you a hammer and having inspirational quotes read at you every time you fail due to your own personal mistakes. I never finished Getting Over It but I respect it as a game that is well-designed, but far too hard for me. This is a game that is both ludicrously far too hard, and poorly designed in such a way that even when you're doing well, it will sometimes just turn around ago "nah, you can actually start over". Oh, and if you have to quit mid-way through a level, there is no saving of checkpoints. You must…

This game is harder than fishing. I saved you time and nerves and beat it! You can check it out on YouTube. 6/9