Cheese Runner
Kai Hutchence · 2022 · 1980s, Cyberpunk, Retro, Text-Based, Crime
PC
Positive100% · 23
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About Cheese Runner
✦ AI summary
Smuggle illicit cheese through a dystopian corporate surveillance state, managing routes, heat levels, and deals across 30 days before your loan comes due. This retro ASCII roguelike trades traditional cyberpunk espionage for the absurdist thrill of running contraband dairy in a world where cheese has become humanity's most dangerous black-market commodity.
Cheese Runner is a retro ASCII-art cyberpunk crime trading game.
Play as a Cheese Runner, an underground trader of illicit cheese. Try to survive the gritty dystopia of a world gone mad. After a mysterious virus eliminates most of the livestock on earth, humanity is crushed under the boot of corporate control. Providing synthetic foods corporations now control the very ability to live for most of humanity. Against this oppressive corporate control and violent police state a small segment of the population fight back. With the food labs unable to synthesize casein a core component of milk critical to cheese making, the much loved food has become banned under the guise of public safety. The brave ranchers of Underground raise cowntraband to produce this precious substance, but its up to Cheese Runners to distribute it.
You've taken out a loan to get your start in the smuggling business. You've got 30 days to make good on the load or its the grinder for you. Can you evade the killbots and sniffcopters searching out cowntraband? Do you have the gonads to deal the gorgonzola? Its time to get rich (and tasty) or die trying.
Play as a Cheese Runner, an underground trader of illicit cheese. Try to survive the gritty dystopia of a world gone mad. After a mysterious virus eliminates most of the livestock on earth, humanity is crushed under the boot of corporate control. Providing synthetic foods corporations now control the very ability to live for most of humanity. Against this oppressive corporate control and violent police state a small segment of the population fight back. With the food labs unable to synthesize casein a core component of milk critical to cheese making, the much loved food has become banned under the guise of public safety. The brave ranchers of Underground raise cowntraband to produce this precious substance, but its up to Cheese Runners to distribute it.
You've taken out a loan to get your start in the smuggling business. You've got 30 days to make good on the load or its the grinder for you. Can you evade the killbots and sniffcopters searching out cowntraband? Do you have the gonads to deal the gorgonzola? Its time to get rich (and tasty) or die trying.
What Steam players say
Recent verbatim reviews from Steam — separate from playze.io community reviews below.
The main issue with the game, is that it's short. Yes short. By the time I figured out how to play, the run was over. It's fun, but it's a highscore kind of game, not something you'll come back to otherwise. In many games, there is a notion of beating the game, which is kind of trivial here. It's really only about the score.1 found this helpful
I searched cheese as a joke. Little did I know I would find a game that I actually really enjoy. Very fun, 10/10
Cheese
A very fun and nostalgic game, the only game where I use a calculator and still have fun. I can't stop slingin' that curd, no matter how many killbots come for me.
Reminds me of stock trading back in the day on Neopets. Worth way more than the asking price, good job dev.
Bruh, this is DRUG WARS from the TI-83 calculator that went around high school back in 1999. I have such fond memories playing that game. Well now you can play it in full PC glory with palettes and such and instead of weed and LSD, you slinging cheddar and havarti! Good fun!!
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