Dead On Your Lawn

Mate. First of all, the main menu: The Settings for sound don't even adjust anything. The volumes don't change at all. So I had ear ringing music blaring into my head. (Track was nice though. Props to music guy.) The Play Section. What is that. Mate, the buttons don't select at all. I spent 5 minutes clicking every button on the keyboard and mouse to select the tutorial or anything in the hopes that the play button was mapped to a hidden binding or something. The game boots, SOMEHOW? I try to recreate what I did to select play for another 5 minutes to no avail. The small time spent in the game level: The unskippable speech text - well, actually they do skip... After the text has completely run through - Thanks. The level begins by questing the player to break a box. Ok. The game then proceeds to inform me that I found a sword on the floor after passing a gate and to get ready to combat an incoming enemy in the coming room. Ok! Finally! Yeah, no. There was no sword. The enemy begins shooting. Now that I have no sword, I try to melee attack it. No melee. I try to just continue onwards by running away. Guess what, the level is locked until you defeat the enemy in the room…