My Secret Pets!

“My Secret Pets!” had me thinking I was about to live my sad girl fantasy post-breakup... and instead I walk into my apartment and my literal PETS—yes, my rabbit, pig, bird, and cat—decided to turn into THIRSTY ASS MEN and start competing for my love. Like EXCUSE ME?? Y’ALL WERE LICKING YOUR OWN BUTTS YESTERDAY. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t consent to this. I didn’t want to be the bachelorette of a damn PetSmart. Main girl? Dumb as hell. Not a single brain cell in sight. No “how did this happen,” no “should I be concerned,” just “omg you love me? teehee” while surrounded by horny ex-animals. And the boys?? Flat. Immature. The rabbit wants to bite me, the pig is weirdly polite, the cat thinks he's hot sh*t, and the bird—THE BIRD—is the only one acting like he’s read a book. Oh and the spicy scenes? Girl. They short, abrupt, and aggressive. These men do NOT ask. They just decide it’s sexy time and the screen fades like I signed a waiver. ✨It’s not hot. It’s horrifying.✨ Story? What story. I finished an entire route in like 90 minutes. Zero depth, zero build-up, just "he’s in love, now pick an ending and get humped." This game had potential to be chaotic fun... instead I got tra…

Although I understand the negative reviews, I think it comes down to how seriously you're taking the game and its story. Personally I really enjoyed it. The plot is entertaining and the art is good. My only complain is that there's no auto option. Also the music is repetitive and changes abruptly which could be annoying to some (but to me it was kinda funny) Not worth full price though.

My Secret Pets! is a lighthearted, eccentric otome visual novel that leans fully into its strange premise and uses that absurdity as the backbone of its charm. Developed and published by Dogenzaka Lab, the game opens with the protagonist returning home after a painful breakup, only to discover that her beloved household pets have turned into attractive young men. This transformation happens without warning or explanation, immediately setting the tone for a story that is less concerned with realism and more focused on fantasy-driven romance and emotional escapism. The premise signals right away that this is a niche experience designed for players who enjoy quirky love stories and aren’t afraid to embrace a narrative that borders on the bizarre. Structurally, the game follows a traditional route-based visual novel format. Each pet-turned-human has his own branching path, complete with character-specific events, dialogue choices, and emotional arcs that culminate in a normal ending, happy ending, or the more sought-after “miracle” ending. The routes are relatively short, allowing players to complete one in about an hour, but the real substance comes from replaying the game multiple t…

As a B-movie enjoyer, I'd love to say this VN is enjoyably bad... except it isn't enjoyable. There's a moderately interesting mystery going on, the art is decent, and the translation is actually good (for a Dogenzaka game), but that's all. The writing style is rather plain, it carries not emotion or atmosphere whatsoever, the relationships are rushed to the point if feels like the whole story transpires in ten minutes rather than a whole week (which, still, is a short time), and the love interests are just as bland as the Plain Jane of a protagonist; they only seem to have one trait each: loving the protagonist, with only the level of possessiveness varying. Unfortunately, the quality doesn't match the price tag at all.

Bad writing, music, and flat characters. Also to me it feels so wrong to fall in love with your pets....

Bad.