The Useless Wizard
The Useless Dev · 2025 · Action, Action Roguelike, Bullet Hell, Roguelite, Casual
PC
Positive82% · 17
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About The Useless Wizard
The village is under attack. Grotesque monster hordes suddenly appear, and the villagers place their last hope in the only wizard around… an alcoholic retiree who knows absolutely no spells. His one and only weapon? Rocks. Lots of rocks.In The Useless Wizard, absurd humor meets tactical action. Each “day” lasts 5 minutes, during which you must protect the village women from monsters. If they reach the left edge of the screen, they’ll carry one off, and if they’re all gone, you lose.But even with nothing but stones, a true wizard can adapt. Upgrade your throws, stack dozens of ridiculous abilities, and unleash chaotic weapon combos that turn every run into total mayhem… often uncontrollable.Key Features:
- ⚔️ A tactical twist on Vampire Survivors: manage enemies on both horizontal and vertical planes.
- 🪨 A pathetic yet lovable hero: an alcoholic wizard with no spells, armed only with rocks.
- 😂 Absurd, tongue-in-cheek humor: silly monsters, bizarre abilities, and unpredictable situations.
- 🔥 Unlimited combos: every upgrade stacks—no exceptions—leading to powerful, hilarious, and sometimes disastrous effects.
- ⏳ Fast-paced sessions: survive “day” after “day,” 5 minutes each, with new enemies and bosses gaining powers over time.
What Steam players say
Recent verbatim reviews from Steam — separate from playze.io community reviews below.
Oh. So the game constructed exclusively out of AI slop assets does not actually have any content beyond what was shown in the demo (wich already had a scope of a ludum dare entry) and the demo was removed as soon as it entered "early access" that will most likely become abandoned at some point in the not so far future because the sales were low. Well my bad I guess for thinking this would somehow go against obvious expectations.22 found this helpful
This game is full of AI assets, is simple and boring to play. It plays more like a old browser game than anything else. Wouldn't play it even if it was free.7 found this helpful
Hello, this negative review is only intended to draw the developer's attention. hope the game developers can limit the minimum attack interval for player characters and the number of projectiles that can exist simultaneously. Since items in the game cannot be deleted or sold, having too short an attack interval and too many projectiles can severely obstruct visibility and cause significant lag in the later stages of the game, which greatly affects the gaming experience.3 found this helpful
The Useless Wizard is a roguelike that quickly becomes addictive. Every time I play, I find myself drawn back to it What makes it special is how the game trusts the player. There is no long tutorial you simply start exploring, and the world begins to reveal itself. You try something, experiment and suddenly you realize how one thing interacts with another. Each discovery feels earned, and that feeling is deeply satisfying.2 found this helpful
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