8 Ball

I’ll tell ya right now, bud, I downloaded 8 Ball Talking thinkin’ it’d just be a goofy little time-waster, somethin’ to poke at while I’m waitin’ in line at Tim Hortons or sittin’ in my toque watchin’ the snow fall, but holy smokes was I ever wrong, eh, because this game didn’t just talk back to me, it reached right into my soul like a polite little plastic prophet and said “listen here, guy,” and next thing I know I’m reflectin’, prayin’, and apologizin’ to God for things I didn’t even realize I was sorry for, which honestly tracks because apologizin’ is kind of our thing up here. I started askin’ the 8 Ball the big questions — about faith, about life, about whether the Leafs will ever win the Cup (still says outlook not so good, but that’s fine, I forgive it) — and through those simple answers I found myself closer to God than I’d ever been, like I was sittin’ in a quiet chapel made of snow and maple syrup. Because of this game, I fixed my marriage too, eh; I learned to listen instead of chirpin’, to take a breath instead of losin’ it, and when things got heated I’d just ask the 8 Ball what to do and accept that “ask again later” sometimes means be patient and don’t be a hoser. A…

If I said I enjoyed playing 8 Ball, I would be lying. But if I said I enjoyed experiencing 8 Ball, well... The type of game I enjoy the most are those that are truly unique. Not just the well-crafted masterpieces, but games where the creator had a vision and didn't let anything get in the way of it being realized. 8 Ball may seem on the surface to be a low effort project, but if you look past the strange physics and atrocious level design, there is care and effort put into this game. The crowd cheers when you pass a difficult segment. Moving platforms are faster on their way back to you. Killing enemies puts time back on the countdown. With the realization that the creator put effort into this game, it becomes apparent that there is a creative vision on display here, and it is certainly a strange one. It's impossible to describe the feel of playing this game. Sure, there's any number of frustrating, oddly themed platformers out there, but there has never been one quite like this. If you want to know what it's like, get this game, reach level 4, and experience the graphics, music, and overall premise converging into something never before seen in a video game. Overall, I am h…

This game is terrible. Absolutely terrible. It is not worth the dollar it asks for... However that on its own gives it value. If 2,000 people heard that about a game, 10 of them would probably buy it. I have not beaten this game. It is immensely difficult. Level 1 tricks you by making you think its just a janky, poorly designed platformer, but by level 2 you will learn its a janky, poorly designed platformer with atrocious level design, a far too short timer, and horrifically designed stages. If I beat this game it will probably be 20 years in the future when I see this on my library and I feel like I want to play an old bad game and then I do, I beat it, and I never play it again. If you enjoy bad games, which I know some of you do, buy it. Its funny, its poorly designed, its buggy, and it has horrible physics, and best of all, its only $1.00, Its worth it. If you enjoy good games, just go play something else. I cannot in good faith give this game a recommendation. But there is, most certainly, a group of people who would absolutely adore this game. -1/10, horrid. (Doesn't mean nobody will like it though).

Best 12 minutes of my life.

PEAK

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