Pagans Must Die

You have found purble herb. Pagans Must Die is a story-focused "RPG" about the Red Saint of the Sword of Jesus, a Christian sect that believes that instead of rising from the dead after three days, Jesus went on a three-day murder bender and gave his bloodstained cloak to his disciples afterwards. If that sounds kind of dumb, well, it's a good idea of what the story will be like, yeah. The biggest problem is that while Pagans Must Die bills itself as an RPG, and features an RPG combat system, it has very little in the way of statistical upgrades over the course of the game for its protagonist Adel, only a few fixed bonuses at specific places in the story, meaning the majority of combats are pointless and give no reward. That mostly leaves the storyline, and while I appreciated the amount of choices you get to make during it, it felt like it was written by a teenage edgelord upset about Catholicism and in relatively poor English, to boot. I uploaded like fifteen screenshots of particularly silly lines from this game, if you want to check out some of the writing - they're basically the only community screenshots for it at all. Anyway, no. Not recommended, the mechanics make the ga…