The Lord of the Rings: Gollum™

This is one of the worst video games I have ever played in my life. What the ♥♥♥♥ were they thinking making this game the way that they did? Pros: Background Detail/Graphics - The backgrounds in this game are very nicely designed. The world building from that aspect is well done. The character models? Totally different ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ story. But the backgrounds are well done and that team deserves praise for doing a job well done. Voice Acting - the voice acting is decently well done as well. Certain characters sound as they should, while others...not so much. Overall still positive in this regard. Cons: LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE Character Models - ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ what the ♥♥♥♥ happened here? They look straight out of the PS2 Era. It is DRASTICALLY different from the background graphics. Characters look ugly and not in a vain way, just straight up terribly designed. Gandalf looks like hes on ozempic. Gollum looks like a balding teenager with square hair struggling to keep up with its anti aliasing of its edges. Enemy orcs look awful and look like they came out of everquest. I hated looking at every character in the game. Glitches and bugs GALORE - This game runs like ASS. Pure…

[quote]Without me, eyes are marbles, no darkness they see. No breath, no cheer, death not to fear. Time is not spent, roses has no scent. At nothing you can marvel without me. What am I?[/quote] Before installing this game, I hugged my wife, said to my son how proud of him I am. I found my inner peace with the fact that Gollum would destroy my marriage, my videocard, and my will to live. After all, the internet warned me about the degenerative nature of this videogame in colourful ways. I was prepared to kiss the ground under Forspoken, to beg Redfall for forgiveness while grovelling on a hot molten metal plate, to acknowledge the existence of Payday 3, and to remove the 2GB folder from my desktop with memes regarding The Day Before. Turned out, the internet did it again and the hate train was exaggerated as much as any live lynching event can be. Yes, the first 5 chapters out of 10 were pretty meaningless and uninspired padding, but they were unthreatening and easy going 4/10. It was unpolished jank of a premise, but still no crashes, no game-breaking bugs, no propaganda down your throat. There were no mandatory "open world" notes that you would never read, and for every collectib…

I don't think I'm speaking out of line when I say this is the greatest thing ever created by human hands. From Gollum's spindly little bob, to the broken voice line that triggered after every death about a driver long after it was contextually relevant, what an experience. CINEMA is an understatement. The janky controls and clear QA that led to this game truly drove me insane. LIKE GOLLUM. I BECAME THE CHARACTER. It is so rare that a game can create a meta experience wherein my character arc mirrors that of the character themself. I loved it. I loved being in the prison for the first five chapters. I loved being spit on, called ugly, and friendzoned. I am Gollum. What a masterpiece

We don't want to wait for gongs, do we? We're right here, in the tower. So close to the bridge. Hide in a cart and off we goes! But we can't do that yet, can we? Not without a frendly driver. And we sees no friendly faces here. We don't want to wait for gongs, do we? We're right here, in the tower. So close to the bridge. Hide in a cart and off we goes! But we can't do that yet, can we? Not without a frendly driver. And we sees no friendly faces here. We don't want to wait for gongs, do we? We're right here, in the tower. So close to the bridge. Hide in a cart and off we goes! But we can't do that yet, can we? Not without a frendly driver. And we sees no friendly faces here. We don't want to wait for gongs, do we? We're right here, in the tower. So close to the bridge. Hide in a cart and off we goes! But we can't do that yet, can we? Not without a frendly driver. And we sees no friendly faces here. We don't want to wait for gongs, do we? We're right here, in the tower. So close to the bridge. Hide in a cart and off we goes! But we can't do that yet, can we? Not without a frendly driver. And we sees no friendly faces here. We don't want to wait for gongs, do we? We're right her…

Gollum...where do I begin. I was roped into this experience by chance, by mere trickery. But what would follow, would change my life in the craziest ways imaginable. First off, I met a man, an interesting man. His name, was gollum. At first, he was a man of little words, but throughout our journey together we grew close, closer than any friend I have ever had. Then...I met a guy named breeder, this one was a real trickster. He showed me the ropes, he showed what it meant to be the real me. But that all changed when I met a guy named grash, grash was pretty rash. He betrayed, sent me on a spiral of treachery, pain and suffering. Just as I was clawing my way out of my cell, grash took the opportunity to stab me in the back. He left, without a trace, we went our seperate ways. Then, upon the cliff of agony, there he was, marching towards my home. I did not know what his plans were, or if he was going to rub salt in this deep wound. Anyways, I formed a plan that would trick him, I lead him to lair of my old pal, shelob. Now, shelob and I go way back, we used to take jobs together and scrounge for any penny we could find. We had it tough growing up, but we had each other. A few years b…

This was one of the most painful gameplay experiences i put myself through.... Gameplay, story and just everything about this game is not enjoyable. I would not recommend this game even if it was free.